Friday, November 22, 2019

The last lesson: Daughter shares wisdom from former Raymond Boston Cane Award recipient

Betty Stetson at the age of 24 with her son in 1942
By Lorraine Glowczak

It was officially announced at last Tuesday evening’s Raymond’s Select Board meeting that Teresa M. Ingraham of Raymond was awarded the Boston Cane Award. As we and the Town of Raymond schedule to meet up with Ms. Ingraham for a future interview, staff at The Windham Eagle thought it would be good to offer an honorary farewell to the previous Raymond award recipient, Elizabeth “Betty” Stetson, who passed away last month at the age of 101.

We met up with Stetson’s daughter, Becky Almstrom, also of Raymond who shared some of her mother’s life lesson that family and friends have incorporated into their own lives. Stetson, who moved to Maine from New Hampshire, made her home with Becky and her husband, Bob for the past 18 years.

“There were many things our mother and grandmother taught us,” began Becky. “One lesson was the importance of food, family, friendship and hospitality. She always believed that there should be enough food in the house for unexpected visitors. And, she never failed to spontaneously host a wonderful spread of food if guests stopped by. As a result, she taught me well and I always have plenty of food in my pantry for any guest I may find at my doorstep.”

http://www.lavishdogdayspa.com/In a memory book filled with old photos and letters, children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren shared the gifts that their matriarch imparted. Letters indicating a life well-lived with family and friends that included: movies to the theater in a New Hampshire town square, Easter egg hunts, snowmobiling with the family, long afternoon walks, teaching rug hooking, singing in the choir, Sunday dinners and trips to Europe that included Stetson’s home country of the Czech Republic. But the fond memories always returned to food and drink such as the memories of the ‘horrible tasting slivovitz” [Eastern Europe Brandy] and the delightfully homemade kolaky [Czech sweet rolls].

Betty Stetson at the age of 100
in 2018 posing with her
Boston Cane Award
In an interview with us last March 2018 when she was awarded received the Boston Cane Award, Stetson provided a bit of advice, which of course, included food. “For longevity - make sure you eat your greens,” she smiled. “Oh! And fruit. Fruit is good for you too.”

But if anyone had the opportunity to spend even just an hour with Stetson, one quickly realized that eating healthy was not the only thing that has contributed to her long life. Happiness and laughter fill the air in her presence.

Part of her laughter, during that interview a little over a year ago, stemmed from the fact that she loved to play jokes on her family. Her favorite holiday, it turned out, was April Fool’s Day and so for the past 18 years, Becky and Bob learned to be prepared for whatever Stetson had up her sleeve.

But the greatest lessons came to Stetson’s family in the last days of her life. Diagnosed with bladder cancer this fall and given six months to live, Stetson asked her daughter that any and all family differences come to an end and to remain a cohesive and close unit.

“After I promised her that I would do my best, it was only a day later that she had a stroke and she was taken to hospice,” explained Becky. “It was her last few days in hospice care that I believe she provided her last bits of wisdom.”
https://www.facebook.com/events/1125044117685794/
While she lay unconscious with her family by her side, she would become alert enough to say her goodbyes. “At one point, she woke up and with eyes wide open – almost with a look of happiness. She took my hand and lifted it up and pointed to the ceiling,” began Becky. “I asked, ‘Mom? What do you need?’ It was at that moment my son-in-law pointed out that she might be telling us that she ‘sees a light’.”

Becky realized her mother may have offered her last lesson. “I think she was telling us that there is always hope that there is life after death. I saw it with my own eyes and heart.”

Stetson easily and readily slipped into that very possible next life on October 3, 2019. But she left this life – sprinkling it with joy, laughter, adventure and love for family and friends. And a lesson or two. Not only for her family, but for anyone who might listen and learn from a women who lived a long and eventful life.


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