Windham resident becomes living organ donor

By Andrea Elder-Bruns
Special to The Windham Eagle

So, have you done anything ‘big’ lately? For one Windham resident, the answer is a resounding yes. That resident is Barbara “Billie” (Carlin) LaVallee, and if you met her, you’d likely have no idea what she has recently experienced and accomplished. Billie just donated a large portion of her liver to save the life of a person suffering from acute liver disease. This makes her a so-called “living donor.”

Billie LaVallee of Windham became a living
organ donor when she voluntarily gave part
of her liver to a stranger during a transplant
operation at Lahey Medical Center in
Massachusetts. She was inspired to become
a donor by her husband, Dan, a cancer
survivor. PHOTO BY ED PIERCE   

Most people are familiar with posthumous organ donation, where organs are harvested from a deceased person and transplanted into a recipient. But many are less familiar with the notion of donating an organ while the donor is alive. Billie agreed to share her story and her experience in hopes of raising awareness about this life-saving endeavor.

LaVallee, 54, grew up in Windham and has deep roots here. She and her husband, Dan, recently purchased a home and moved back to Windham. Billie works for the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) and as a dental hygienist. She has three adult sons and is active in corporate track and field competitions. She and Dan are enthusiastic travelers who share a strong interest in our National Parks.

Billie and I are lifelong friends, and I know that Billie has done lots of noteworthy things in her life, but perhaps none quite as incredible as her choice to become a living donor. That said, Billie is adamant that her decision to do this does not classify her as a “hero.”

In fact, when that word comes up, she is quick to highlight that the real heroes in the realm of organ donation/transplantation are the individuals who persevere through daily pain and hardship while waiting in the hope of a donation to be available. She is also quick to mention the surgeons and medical staff whose skill and hard work make this whole process possible.

It was my idea to write this article, and I broached the topic knowing full well that Billie might initially resist. Visions of headlines about a local woman becoming “a hero” were repugnant to her. As Billie and I talked, though, it became clear that in sharing her story and her personal experience, her community could be made aware of the very notion of living organ donation, and of the life-changing possibilities it brings.

INSPIRATION

Billie credits a friend and former co-worker with inspiring her interest in exploring living organ donation.

"This friend spearheaded our office's participation in National Donate Life Blue & Green Day, which is celebrated every year in April,” she said. “We would wear blue and green that day to raise awareness about organ donation. Sadly, my friend became ill and in an ironic and tragic twist of fate, she died from liver disease."

She was also inspired by her husband.

“Throughout his life he has worked hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle by religiously exercising, maintaining a healthy weight, eating well, etc.,” she said. “Despite his efforts he has been both unlucky and lucky in regards to his health. He is a cancer (unlucky) survivor (lucky) and had to undergo open heart surgery due to a congenital heart defect.”

Billie does not take her good health for granted.

"It is a blessing, and living donation was a way for me to give back. It’s not realistic for everyone though,” she said. “People give back in all sorts of ways, some give their time, money, knowledge, compassion, blood and through their vocations, as well as many other ways. For me it just so happened to be part of my liver. I have also been a lifelong blood donor and plan to resume blood donation after my required six-month deferral."

The process began with a phone call to the Lahey Medical Center’s Transplant Program. This got the ball rolling and led to some initial blood work for her.

“I was also encouraged to apply for financial assistance through the National Living Donation Center (NALDC) which is a non-profit organization who often assists eligible donors with costs such as travel expenses, lost wages, and dependent care costs," she said. "For example, NALDC covered the cost of my husband’s hotel stay postoperatively. It’s also important to note that many employers have organ donation programs, such as mine, which paid me lost wages while I was out. In addition, donors are not responsible for any of their medical costs as the recipient’s insurance plan covers the donor’s expenses."

The work-up to be accepted as a live donor is extremely comprehensive. After the initial blood work came back favorable, Billie was scheduled for two days of tests at Lahey Hospital in Burlington, Massachusetts. The exams ran the gamut and included a chest x-ray, echocardiogram, stress test, abdominal MRI, a psych evaluation, a surgical evaluation and more.

The time from her acceptance to the actual procedure was less than three months.

"I was accepted as a living donor shortly after my mid-February evaluations," she said. "I donated on May 1 and did not know the recipient at the time of donation."

The day of her surgery was very emotional as she was concerned about what a long day it would be for her husband and children.

"I believe that the waiting is the hardest part,' Billie said. "I had it easy as I was going to have a long nap. I was also anxious as to what the outcome would be. Would sharing my liver change the life of my recipient? I was prayerful. The surgery took place at Lahey Hospital in Burlington, Massachusetts. There are no liver transplant programs in Maine."

SURGERY

The surgery was about seven hours on a Wednesday, and she was released early the following Monday.

"The first couple of weeks were rough despite my pain being well controlled. I had a reaction to one of the pain meds and had some nausea and vomiting on postop Day 3," Billie said. "Imagine how little fun it is vomiting with a new incision that runs vertically from the thorax just below my belly button. Fortunately, that did not last long."

According to Billie, getting quality sleep was also a challenge.

"Getting out of bed and even rolling over were suddenly a Herculean feat. I also had an abdominal drain that was removed immediately before discharge from the hospital. The wound site from this drain was still discharging fluid and I would often wake up having soaked through the bandaging and my pajamas. Napping suddenly became an essential part of my existence."

She began walking, more like shuffling, in the hospital and continued upon returning home.

"The first day I slowly ambled about my neighborhood about one-quarter of a mile. After week one I was able to get out several times a day and began gradually increasing the distance and speed. She felt remarkably well and almost back to normal at about six weeks, returning to work after eight weeks with restrictions not to lift anything above 20 pounds.

"At this point I had also begun to run again and by the end of July I was able to lightly return to competing with my corporate track and field team," she said.

The experience was what she expected.

"I was well prepared for the experience thanks to the wonderful transplant team at Lahey as well as my mentor and now friend, Lynn," Billie said. "Lynn has donated both a kidney and part of her liver and works for the National Kidney Donation Organization."

HUMBLING EXPERIENCE

But despite being well prepared for the surgery itself, Billie said that the experience was humbling.

"I am so grateful to the Lahey Hospital and Transplant Program staff, my surgeons, and the entire nursing staff," she said. "I wish I had known a bit more of how losing your gallbladder can affect your digestion. Gallbladders are removed along with your liver donation. I took Pepcid, as prescribed, for 90 days postoperatively to alleviate acid reflux. I also learned to eat several smaller meals. I am happy to report that I am no longer having any issues.

As far as doing anything differently, Billie advises to have extra boxes of gauze and bandages on hand.

"Like I mentioned my incision site from my drain leaked for days and I ran out of dry dressings," she said. "One of my sisters came to the rescue and delivered a fresh supply. "If thinking about becoming a living organ donor, I would advise them to start with finding a mentor. I would be honored to speak with anyone who might be interested. Lynn was such a Godsend to me. We discussed the big stuff as well as the small little details that you may not feel comfortable asking a surgeon, like 'Will I get constipated?' or 'Will I be able to shower?' The answers respectively are: 'most likely' and 'not until just before you are discharged.'

She says be prepared for lots of needles.

“While hospitalized, I had IVs in both arms, one in my hand, and one in the jugular vein in my neck," Billie said. "I also received heparin shots daily (to prevent blood clots). Fortunately I am much more afraid of spiders than needles. I would also encourage a potential living donor to have candid conversations with their family and loved ones. Family support is crucial."

Billie said she can’t begin to convey the gratitude that she has for all those who have supported her on this journey and says thanks.

"Several people have suggested that I am a 'hero.' I adamantly disagree with this. I am however someone who has been blessed with good health, a loving husband, children, family, friends and community," she said. "Living donation is not possible without a team of real heroes surrounding you. I continue to think about the complexity of the surgery and the skills and competence of the surgeons. I recently found a video on YouTube and am awed with the intricate nature of the surgery. Interestingly, the liver is the only organ that regenerates."

Recently she had the opportunity to meet the recipient and his wife.

“It’s so hard to describe the magic of the moment. I am ecstatic to share that Mark is doing remarkably well," she said. "He is resuming beloved activities such as going to camp and hiking in the woods. We have stayed in touch and text frequently. We also are planning another outing in a couple of weeks. His amazing wife is currently going through the work-up to be a potential living donor."

Her goal in sharing her experience is to raise awareness about the living donation process and the impact it can have on the lives of people like Mark.

"I am hoping for a domino effect," Billie said. "If I can inspire one person to be a living donor and they in turn inspire another, just imagine the number of lives that can be changed."

If you would like to learn more, Billie recommends checking out Donate Life America’s website donatelife.net. Those wishing to contact Billie directly can reach her at barb.lavallee1@gmail.com. <

Raymond family’s food pantry makes a difference in community

By Kaysa Jalbert

RAYMOND – Every Tuesday morning Sabrina Golabiewski of Raymond takes a drive to the stores that have contracts with The Vineyard of Mechanic Falls Church to pick up fresh-rescue food items. Golabiewski then brings the items home, boxes them up, sends out a mass text to the community, and opens up her home for families to pick up these items anytime from noon to 7 p.m. the same day.

Sabrina Golabiewski of Raymond and her
family pick up fresh-rescue food items at
stores in the Lakes Region and then bring
the items to their home every week for
anyone in need in the community.
SUBMITTED PHOTO

Over the past five years, Sabrina Golabiewski has devoted her time and freezer space managing a food pantry from her own home as an extension of her church to make resources more widely available for families in her community.

“I started picking up fresh rescues for my church and because I have five kids, they said I could help myself to extras. When I got there, I was so overwhelmed by the amount of food that could potentially be thrown out,” said Golabiewski.

From what started as a small gesture of picking up extras for her friends and storing them in her single freezer space, the concept has expanded to providing items for between 11 to 26 families a week and they now have five freezers, some coming as donations from her community and church.

Most local food pantries have a small window of about two hours once to twice a month for families to pick up,” Golabiewski said. “I cater more to the working families so they can pick up after work.”

The most common items they collect from Golabiewski are baked goods, and lots of them. They also frequently receive produce, deli meats and some pre-made sandwiches, all not up to shopping standards to be sold, but too good to go to waste.

But she doesn’t do it all alone.

Her youngest son, Caden, 9, goes to the stores and helps pick up food with his mother. When they arrive home, the remaining four children, Cameryn, 10, Ethan, 14, Ashten, 16, Greyson, 18, all jump in to help haul the goods into the house.

There is one more team member that influenced Sabrina to have a giving heart, her mother, Connie, age 71.

“She just has a service heart,” says Golabiewski, “I definitely saw how much it meant for her to do things for others so even as a salty teenager I was happy to do these things.”

On Tuesday mornings, the family takes over the kitchen and dining room, and with food items spread out to be organized, Connie counts to make sure there’s enough boxes. Everything is then kept cool in an air-conditioned bedroom for people to come in and get their box.

To make sure nothing goes to waste, Sabrina also sends out a Facebook post so that those not in the mass texts can also have a chance at some support.

Sabrina hopes that her actions will influence her children to carry on helping their community as they grow up, just in the same way Sabrina’s mother influenced her.

“As a single mom, it’s important for my kids to see how fortunate and how blessed we are,” she said.

In addition, Golabiewski runs the 302 Nutrition shop in Raymond. This summer, a friend helps cover Sabrina’s shifts on Tuesdays while she manages the food pantry. In the fall and winter, they shut down the shop on those days to run the food pantry instead.

“Feeding the families is far more important than being open for a couple hours on a Tuesday,” said Golabiewski.

When she started at 302 Nutrition, she thought it would be a great way to give back to her community and to use the store as another way to do food drives.

In the five years that Golabiewski has been running this service for those in need, they have only missed about four to five days in total but otherwise are open every Tuesday.

“If it comes down to heating your home or eating, I don’t want to make people have to choose that,” she said. <

100-year-old Windham resident has no plans on slowing down

By Ed Pierce

Phyllis Coffin of Windham marked a milestone that was a century in the making last month when she celebrated her 100th birthday on Dec. 10.

Phyllis Coffin of Windham turned 100 last month and
celebrated with family at a dinner in Portland. She has 
always led an active lifestyle and enjoyed roller skating,
water skiing, dancing, tennis and snow skiing when she
was younger. PHOTO BY GAIL HAMILTON
 

For the occasion, she enjoyed dinner at the Harbor Hotel in Portland with her family, including her children and grandchildren, her twin sister’s two daughters, and friends. Afterward, she was thrilled to converse at home via ZOOM with extended family across the country, while 100 birthday candles lit up the night sky outdoors, and more than 100 birthday cards decorated her porch.

Phyllis was born Dec. 10, 1922, some 10 minutes before her identical twin sister, Frances, in a farmhouse in Clinton, Maine to her parents, Grace Walls Lambertson and William Lambertson. She graduated from Clinton High school as salutatorian in 1940 and went on to attend Westbrook Junior College completing the Commercial Course with studies in bookkeeping, shorthand, law, mathematics of law.

On April 21, 1946, Phyllis married Herbert “Lucky” Coffin and the couple had two children, Jeffrey Coffin, and Gail Hamilton, who both live in Windham.

Her professional career included co-owning Friends Bridal Shop, working as a bookkeeper, and later as a Real Estate Broker.

She says that her most memorable job was when she was a full-time bookkeeper for Eastern Tractor and Equipment in Portland doing what she was trained to do and loved to do, working with numbers. To this day, she still tracks her own finances and signs her own checks to pay bills.

She’s lived an active life ranging from playing high school basketball and roller skating and dancing to

water skiing and snow skiing and in her senior years, playing tennis starting in the 1960s, which she continued until she was 90. Waterskiing became a genuine passion for Phyllis, and she became an AWSA-certified judge and served as the chief judge at numerous waterskiing tournaments throughout New England.

Her cooking was something special too.

“My favorite has always been her Hungarian rolls, which were traditional holiday fare at her house,” said her daughter, Gail Hamilton. “They were so gooey and sweet and made her holiday meals extra special.”

According to Phyllis, advances in technology during her lifetime have been nothing short of amazing, with a few inventions standing out among all the others.

“Telephones because they introduced us to technology,” she said. “And transporting of people from horse and buggy to car and flight and landing someone on the moon.”

She said the biggest historical event to take place in her lifetime is hard to choose because there have been so many.

“Bad things that stand out because they were so horrid,” Phyllis said. “The insurrection at the Capitol

floored me. I couldn’t imagine that happening in our wonderful country. And the destruction of the Twin Towers on 9/11 and the bombing of Pearl Harbor.”

Her husband passed away in 2012 and her twin sister, who was a huge part of her life, died in 2017. The twins attended the same college in Westbrook for bookkeeping and shared a mutual love for roller skating, performing together in shows at Old Orchard Beach to entertain U.S. servicemen during World War II.

As far as her own longevity in life goes, Phyllis said she credits having constant interests outside of just living, taking good care of her body, and helped by God in maintaining it.

For the future, she wants to continue to watch tennis on television and to do walking and exercises to maintain her mobility. She’s also planning to accompany her daughter to Idaho this coming summer for her grandson’s wedding. <

Raymond singer composes songs for Ukraine

By Masha Yurkevich

There is no one word to describe it, but if tried, there might be a few. Destroyed. Fear. Despair. The war in Ukraine is no secret to anyone. To us, it is far away, and it is difficult to just stand up and do something. But singer/songwriter Marilyn Redegeld Ross of Raymond has found a way.

Singer/songwriter Marilyn Redegeld Ross of
Raymond has written and recorded songs
supporting the people of Ukraine during the
invasion by Russian forces. She's hoping that
the songs will be picked up and played by
radio stations across Europe.
SUBMITTED PHOTO   

Redegeld, originally from Shrewsbury, Massachusetts, graduated from Framingham High School. Her first instrument was the violin through the orchestra program at school. She also loved singing and joined the school chorus beginning in middle school. In high school, she was practicing the violin and singing every day and decided it was time to choose between the two.

“But before I made my formal exit from the violin after learning that the orchestra program was being canceled, I pleaded with the music director that he allow me to perform a solo in the music concert,” says Redegeld. “He was reluctant but decided that I could do it on the condition that he would give me private sessions to practice for it.”

According to Redegeld, she says that she was fortunate that her school offered music theory and that she took two semesters of it which help her in her songwriting today.

“When it was time to think about college, I had a discussion with my music teacher and he said it’s very hard to make it as a singer and that I shouldn’t expect to make money at it,” says Redegeld. “I think that is why I did not consider it my primary study in college although sometimes I wish I had gone to Berkeley College of Music in Boston.”

Redegeld continued singing and taking classical voice lessons. She was also very interested in poetry and kept a notebook of poems where she would write about life, thinking that she could turn them into songs.

“My mother played the organ and bought a synthesizer keyboard which was new technology and I taught myself to play since I could read music,” says Redegeld. “My father was a singer and formed a group to play in nursing homes for twenty years and he would have me come as a guest to play violin or sing. My aunt played the pipe organ in churches for 45 years and would invite me as guest soloist. I
also sang for weddings and was in the Heritage Choral and in the chorus at Framingham Union College and Immaculata College in Pennsylvania.” At Immaculata college, she studied violin a little more and

also took piano lessons off and on.

“My mother was very supportive raising me as a single mother paying for my violin and singing lessons all through school and driving me to lessons and taking me to concerts and Broadway shows in Boston, which I’m very grateful for,” says Redegeld.

After having a family and her four boys became adults, Redegeld had time to start focusing on her goals again. She never stopped singing and does it every day. She sings everything from opera to jazz to rock.

“Before my mother died from breast cancer, she told me she hoped all my dreams would come true. And I took that to heart,” says Redegeld. “It’s never too late to make your dreams come true. I decided if I wasn’t going to make it as a singer maybe I can make it as a songwriter and sing my own songs.”

Last fall, Redegeld began writing songs starting with lyrics, putting in a melody and then adding harmonies with chord progressions. She then began searching for other songwriters to collaborate with and found a 20-year-old college student from Brunswick named Cole Orr. In late February the unthinkable happened; Ukraine was invaded by neighboring Russia.

“I have a friend from Ukraine who has family there so I would always ask him questions,” says

Redegeld. I was very alarmed by the disturbing nature of the attack and decided to write my first song for Ukraine called ‘Heart of Ukraine.’ I then realized there are so many angles to the effects of the war on the Ukrainian people and decided I needed to write more songs. So I wrote With the Light of Love which is about Ukrainians fighting for the right reasons: to defend their people, their country and their freedom and that the light of love - God and heaven - is watching over them.”

In collaboration with co-writer Orr, she also wrote “Up So High,” a song for President Volodymyr Zelensky and all the Ukrainian defenders that they will rise up and go down in history. Orr also teamed up with Redegeld on two other songs so far: “The Essence of You” and “Only Heaven Knows.”

All these songs and more can be found on Redegeld’s YouTube channel, Marilyn Redegeld Ross.

After several sessions in the recording studio, the songs are getting ready to be formally released.

“I played the synthesizer/keyboard for two of the songs, ‘Heart of Ukraine’ and ‘With the Light of Love,’” says Redegeld. “I also envisioned a cello playing in these two songs and was fortunate to find master cellist Ben Noyes to add his magic to them.”

Redegeld has two more songs for Ukraine. One is called “Back For You” about President Zelensky telling his wife that she needs to be safe and stay away from the war as he promises that he will be back for her when it is over. The other one is called “War Criminal” and one other ready to go to the studio.

“I feel like my songs are a gift to the Ukrainian people from God and I am the instrument to get it to them. It’s sad that I need the war to continue in order for people to be interested in my songs, but I think the war has gone on long enough that the songs have real meaning to a lot of people,” says Redegeld. “My challenge now is getting this music to them and continuing my mission and finish my songs for Ukraine in the recording studio. Ukrainians are beautiful people who just want to live free and have a quality of life like we enjoy here. They have suffered and witnessed unimaginable horrors that seem unthinkable today. I will continue to support Ukraine until the war is over. As my ancestors are from Europe and Finland, it’s the least I can do for my fellow humans.” <

 

Windham racer Kneeland revs up NASCAR career

Windham auto racer Derek Kneeland owns his own Super
Late Model car and has been competing in racing since he 
first climbed into a go-kart at age 8. He now works for 
NASCAR racing teams as a spotter for drivers such as
Tyler Reddick, Austin Hill, Corey Heim, Daniel Dye,
and Kyle Busch. COURTESY PHOTO

By Ed Pierce

Derek Kneeland’s passion for auto racing runs deep and it not only has become his career; it’s led him to places he’s never been before and experiences he wouldn’t have had otherwise like the Daytona 500.

Kneeland, 36, grew up in Windham in a racing family and the need to compete on the racetrack is in his blood.

“My dad Jeff raced back in the 1970s and my grandfather used to be the general manager of Beech Ridge Motor Speedway in Scarborough back when it was clay,” Kneeland said. “My family worked the ticket booths and concessions, so I was pretty destined to get involved somehow and we started racing go-karts when I was 8 years old.”

He currently owns his own Super Late Model racecar and tries to race as much as he can when he has free time from his work with teams in NASCAR races. That career began as a spotter during a race in Pennsylvania 14 years ago and has evolved to jobs in the NASCAR Cup Series, the NASCAR Xfinity Series, the NASCAR Camping World Truck Series and the ARCA Menards Series.

“Each year is a little different on how much I can race due to my NASCAR schedule and obligations,” Kneeland said. “This year I will race three or four times. I travel around to race kind of wherever I can when I’m able. I race with Pro All-Stars series and the Oxford, Granite State Pro Stock Series. I’ve won a few heat races but my best finish in a feature/main event is fifth last year at Oxford.” 

 

He currently works for Richard Childress Racing spotting for the #8 car of Tyler Reddick. Kneeland also spots for RCR's Xfinity team with Austin Hill in the #21 car, and in the truck series he spots for Kyle Busch’s Motorsports #51 truck shared by Busch, Corey Heim, and Buddy Kofoid. In the Arca series, he spots for the #43 car of Daniel Dye. 

As a NASCAR spotter, Kneeland relays information to the driver of the team he works for, keeping them alert of what is occurring on the track. To get a complete look at the racetrack, he is usually positioned on top of one of the grandstands or support buildings.

“For me I think the hardest part is I don’t get to race weekly like most do because of traveling around the country working my NASCAR duties, so there are a few things I need to clean up to figure out such as how to go faster and be better as a driver as a whole. And money obviously, it takes a lot of money to race these cars and be competitive.”

According to Kneeland, the toughest track he’s raced on was a track he competed at during the “Money in the Bank” event at the Berlin Raceway in Michigan on June 8.

“Both ends were different,” he said. “One end was long and sweeping and one was tighter, and I had to slow down more. It was challenging to find the balance needed to be fast.”

His biggest fans are his family, including his wife, Carley, two stepsons Kolby and Logan, his parents Jeff and Kelly Kneeland, and his sister, Tasha.

“Everyone is super supportive. My dad and my cousin Rusty Poland and my good buddy, Nick Brown, all work together on my car and Rusty’s,” Kneeland said. “It’s definitely a family sport. My parents and my wife every weekend tune into the NASCAR app to listen to me spot for my drivers as well. They love it all whether it’s getting to watch me behind the wheel or listen to me do my job on a weekly basis.” 

He says that sponsors are tough to come for his own racecar, but each year it seems like he’s been lucky enough to have a few that stick by him for the select races he competes in. His sponsors include Sumerian Irrigation, Bonang Concrete, SOS towing, One Stop Earthworks, Logan Oil, Drew Excavation, and Pierson Heating and Cooling, along with some family and friends that step up throughout the year. 

So far Kneeland has raced his own car at tracks in Maine, New Hampshire, Michigan and North Carolina, and he plans to race in Florida at the end of this year. He says the biggest race he’s been in behind the wheel himself is the Oxford 250, where he raced against NASCAR driver Brad Keselowski.

“My next race is Friday July 15 at Lee Speedway in Lee, New Hampshire,” Kneeland said. “It’s also the same weekend that NACSAR is racing at Loudon, New Hampshire, so I’ll be coming over to Lee after we have practice at Loudon that afternoon.”

As far as the future goes, Kneeland said he’d really like to get a Feature win on the racetrack before he’s done whether it’s a weekly race or a touring race.

“I don’t really have a timeline on when I’m going to get done,” Kneeland said. I’m just enjoying it for now and I try to help my cousin Rusty Poland as much as possible, so I think when I’m done racing myself, I’ll probably have Rusty race for me some.” <

Raymond grandfather adopts and rebuilds an 'ordinary' family life for four grandkids

The extraordinary circumstance that has brought the 
Wallace family together has turned into ordinary
family adventure. From left are Jameson, Dylan,
Jaelynn and Aubriana with their grandfather, Mike
Wallace, as they celebrated becoming a legal family
on May 10, 2021. SUBMITTED PHOTO   

By Lorraine Glowczak

Imagine living in a 37-foot Silverton boat along the Florida’s gulf coast as a bachelor who is living the life of his dreams with no thought of abandoning the carefree and adventurous lifestyle that he’s established for himself.

Now imagine four young children who live in Maine who haven’t seen their mother and father for days and do not know where they are. The parents are missing due to their lifelong substance misuse. The children are left with their grandmother who is not capable of keeping them for an extended period. Texts from the oldest child, age 11, to her parents are returned with broken promises of their imminent return.

Within a week, the children are taken into custody by Child Protective Services and the bachelor receives a phone call he never imagined he would receive, ever.

“When I got the call that my grandchildren were in Maine state custody, they told me that if I didn’t come to get them, they would remain a ward of the state,” 58-year-old Raymond grandfather, Mike Wallace said. “I was called on a Wednesday and by Thursday morning, I was in Maine to give my grandchildren a family life they deserved.”

That was in 2018. In the past three years, these five individuals have experienced many unknowns, some ups and downs and loads of “ordinary” family fun that also includes the typical family quarrels.

Wallace, who grew up in the Gray/New Gloucester area, had been living in Florida for 14 years when he made his sudden and unexpected move back to New England. Longing for the warmth of winter months in the Sunshine State, Wallace considered returning to Florida with his grandchildren until his oldest grandchild, Aubrianna, who is now 14, reminded him of his promise.

“But grandpa – you promised we wouldn’t have to move again,” she said. Wallace remembered his pledge to the children and honored it by purchasing a five-bedroom home in Raymond on a piece of land that provides roaming adventures for Charley, the four-legged member of the family that moved with Wallace from Florida.

“There has been nothing about this that has been easy,” Wallace said. “But like I have always said, ‘Nothing in life is supposed to be easy – it’s just supposed to be worth it.’”

Wallace and his four grandchildren, who in addition to Aubrianna, include Jaelynn (13), Jameson (11), and Dylan (7) have rebuilt their lives together, and so far, all the work it has taken to do so, has been worth it in more ways than one.

Wallace shared some challenges they have faced as they came together as a new family and ways that they have made an adventure out of the life they were given.

“It is important to say that these children have never experienced a birthday, a Thanksgiving, a Christmas or any other holiday in the same place because there was never stability in their lives – they were always moving,” Wallace said. “Since we’ve been together, we have managed to establish a routine like any other ‘normal’ family, but it has taken us a bit to get to that point.”

The first challenge the family of five faced is the actual meeting of one another when Wallace arrived in Maine. It had been a while since Wallace had last seen his grandchildren. He said that due to his daughter’s chosen lifestyle and their personal disagreements, he had yet to meet Dylan and had only seen Jameson once when he was a baby. Both grandfather and grandson Jameson admitted the family reunion was a bit awkward.

“It didn’t take long for us to get to know each other but it didn’t come without our arguments and misunderstandings,” Wallace said. “We had to get to know each other in unusual circumstances. First, I had a difficult time finding a place to rent. No one wanted to rent to a single grandfather with four grandchildren and a dog in tow.”

The first living arrangement was in a RV that Wallace purchased and parked in his brother’s yard. A handy man among many of his professional skills, Wallace worked as an estimator for his brother’s roofing company. Ironically, that job led him to the house he purchased in Raymond when the company was hired to replace the roof.

But perhaps the greatest challenge for the family occurred in March 2020, when the schools closed due to COVID, and it was up to Wallace to act as a home-school teacher.

“Here I am a high-school dropout teaching my grandchildren their assignments from home,” Wallace said. “But somehow, we made it through, and the children are doing quite well in terms of their education. I don’t know how it all came together, but it did. There is one thing for sure that I am proud of, they definitely know their fractions.”

Wallace is referring to the fun family summer project they began last year when they embarked upon an entrepreneurial adventure, building and selling picnic tables.

“We decided that we wanted to make extra cash to have fun as a family during the summer,” Wallace said. “We made enough money last year to purchase a grill and other outdoor picnic items. This year, we made enough money to purchase a pop-up tent and we are going camping in the next couple of weeks.”

Wallace said that the picnic building venture has proven to be successful, selling 120 tables this year with only Facebook posts and word of mouth as their marketing strategy.

“We’ve sold picnic tables to individuals across the state as well as to the Raymond Library, Raymond Parks and Recreation – and even the Raymond Town Manager purchased one!”

The new family of five became official when Wallace signed the adoption papers on May 10 this year. “Can you spell Wallace for me?”, Wallace asked his grandson Dylan during this interview. “W-A-L-L-A-C-E,” Dylan said without hesitation, spelling out his new last name.

It does seem that all five individuals have faced their share of trials and difficulties as they have come together through extraordinary circumstances to become what most humans desire, a simple and an ordinary family experience. 

But like Wallace always says, “Nothing in life is supposed to be easy – it’s just supposed to be worth it.” <

Community rallies to support 8-year-old Windham boy struggling with leukemia

Dominic Desalle of Windham, who turned 8
on Christmas Eve, was officially diagnosed
with acute myeloid leukemia a few days after
Thanksgiving. A GoFundMe page has been
set up to help the family with his medical bills.
There will also be a Red Cross Blood Drive
conducted that will provide special blood
platelet donation's to meet Dominic's needs
this coming week. SUBMITTED PHOTO 

FINANCIAL ASSISTANCE SOUGHT ALONG WITH BLOOD PLATELET AND BONE MARROW DONATIONS

By Lorraine Glowczak

No parent or grandparent wants to learn that their child or grandchild has cancer. It is, in fact, their worst nightmare. But strength of spirit and love of community helps the Desalle-Strehlke family stay strong as they face together the leukemia diagnosis of their son and grandson, Dominic Desalle of Windham, who turned 8 on Christmas Eve. He was officially diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukemia (AML) a few days after Thanksgiving.

“It all began about three weeks before Thanksgiving,” said Dominic’s grandmother, Carol Desalle. “He was experiencing a fever, fatigue, vomiting, exhaustion and sensitivity to light, so I took him to Mercy Express Care in Westbrook. They tested him for COVID and everything came back negative, except tests showed Dominic had a mild case of strep throat.”

Carol Desalle brought Dominic back home with her to nurse him back to health. Dominic considers his grandmother’s house his second home. Dominic’s father, Joshua Desalle has just completed a certification program and is currently a surgical technician. He shares custody with Dominic’s mother, Kylie Strehlke, who works full-time as a certified nursing assistant. Dominic also has a younger brother, Landon.

“Dom’s fever and the other symptoms continued despite the medication we received,” Carol Desalle said. “When Dom’s mother brought him and Landon over the day before for Thanksgiving – I had planned the day for making pies - it is our holiday tradition.  Dominic said he couldn’t do it. He kept asking to go upstairs. I thought that was odd behavior for his personality.”

By 2:30 a.m. on Thanksgiving Day, Dominic’s symptoms had not only increased but included the loss of coordination. He was unable to put his hands together to wash them and found it difficult to stand up straight and walk in a steady manner.

“I looked at his nail beds and they were completely drained of color. I knew I had to rush him to the emergency room. I called his mother and she met us at the ER.”

It was there that spinal and bone marrow tests were completed and the diagnosis was confirmed.

Dominic is now receiving his first round of cancer treatments. He and his family are now in a “wait and
see” mode since further treatment is determined by how Dominic’s body reacts to the medication therapy. In addition to this, Dominic faces a few hurdles that add to the emotional and physical difficulties of cancer.

“One challenge Dominic faces is that his body carries a gene that will cause a relapse,” Carol Desalle said. “Due to this fact, it is deemed he will have to have a bone marrow transplant and thus will have to find a donor.”

A bone marrow transplant is not the only thing needed as part of Dominic’s healing.

“He also needs blood platelets,” said Carol Desalle. “What surprised me the most is that platelets are not readily available because very few people donate them. Dom and another young girl that was in the hospital at the same time had to wait over 12 hours before platelets were given to them.”

There is a way the community can help and be there for Dominic and his family. One such individual is a friend of the family, Jennifer Harmon. She established a GoFundMe page immediately upon hearing the news.

“Josh's parents, Carol and Tony [Desalle], have always been people who want to help others,” Harmon said. “They opened their home to my daughter, son-in-law, and grandson. My grandson Matthew was just an infant when Dom was just a year old. Soon, they became best buddies over the next several years. I felt that starting the GoFundMe page was the right thing to do.”

Harmon continued, “I know how compassionate we are, especially for our children. Josh and Kylie need to be able to focus on Dominic without the stress of covering their expenses to be with him. I don't want them ever to feel like they can't be with him while he goes through his treatments.”

As of this printing, the GoFundMe page for Dominic has raised $5,450 out of a $10,000 goal. The GoFundMe web address is www.gofundme.com/f/dominics-leukemia-fight

In addition to financial donations, there will be a Red Cross Blood Drive that will provide special blood
platelet donations to meet Dominic’s needs from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Tuesday, Jan. 12 at the Clarion Hotel, 1230 Congress St. in Portland. Reservations are required. To schedule an appointment, visit redcrossblood.org and use the sponsor code: Dominic.

If one wishes to see if they are a bone marrow match for Dominic, visit the Be The Match website at https://bethematch.org//

In whatever way you feel called to support this 8-year-old’s way back to health, any and all assistance is appreciated. But perhaps Jennifer Harmon says it best, “Let's help the Desalle-Strehlke family while Dom kicks cancer’s butt. #DomoStrong!” <

Windham Pack 805 ready to welcome new Cub Scouts

By Ed Pierce

Windham Cub Scouts Pack 805 gather following
a pack building exercise this summer in which
eight wooden benches were made by scouts that
will be donated to various locations around town. 
SUBMITTED PHOTO

For boys in kindergarten through fifth grade, joining the Cub Scouts will open a world of adventure, make new friends, gain a sense of confidence and is an opportunity to learn new skills in an environment designed to help them succeed.

In Windham, Cub Scout Pack 805 is always welcoming new scouts and new parents that hopefully turn into new pack volunteers. On Monday, Sept. 21, Pack 805 will conduct a registration night at Donnabeth Lippman Park at 6:30 p.m. and pack leaders are hoping for a great turnout of boys looking to take the first step to become Cub Scouts. 

“Scouting teaches kids positive character traits, helps foster relationships, and to be part of the community,” said Pack 805 Den Leader Casey Melanson. “It helps them take their best self, work on self-growth, and try new things. The scout motto is ‘Do Your Best’ and that’s what the kids learn.”

Melanson said that Cub Scout Pack 805 dens meet one night a week for about an hour. The whole pack gets together once a month, usually for a special meeting, like Trunk or Treat, a holiday party, or for the Blue and Gold Banquet or other special events.

According to Melanson, Pack 805 currently has about 36 Cub Scouts who work on several community projects each year. 

“We have assisted in celebrating the grand opening of a retirement home, picking up trash after Summerfest, and we will usually host a toy drive for a family for Christmas,” Melanson said. “We also participate in Scouting for Food each November to collect needed goods for the Windham Food Pantry.”

Pack 805’s dues are $100 per scout for the year, half of which is due at sign up and the other in December.  Of that $100, most of it covers national registrations, insurance, and
other expenses.  The rest stays with the pack to help toward achievements by local members.

“During the year, the pack does fundraisers to help with the cost of awards and to pay for some of our activities, like camping and overnights at EVO,” Melanson said. “We do pizza sales, popcorn sales, and bottle drives.  Our last bottle drive raised over $1.200/”

According to Melanson, Cub Scout uniforms consist of a shirt, a rank neckerchief, and a rank slide. Pants and rank hats are optional. Scouts are encouraged to have a belt (not necessarily a scout belt) to be able to display their beltloop achievements. 

“There is also a handbook for each rank that the scout will need to be able to learn, perform, and complete each achievement,” Melanson said.  “Prices for these items start at around $6 and go up from there. There is a Scout Shop right in South Portland by the Jetport that carries everything that a budding scout would need.” 

She said that Cub Scout activities emphasize having fun and learning useful life skills.      

“Cub Scouts can do anything they put their minds to. We have gone winter camping, hiking, ice fishing, and built lean-tos in the winter woods,” Melanson said. “We also have our annual Pinewood Derby where the boys design and build their own cars and then compete against one another.  As a pack we have had beach outings, cookouts, movie nights, and EVO Rock Gym overnights.”

Serving as Pack 805’s Den Leader, Melanson said that she became involved with the Cub Scouts when her son joined as a Tiger in first grade. He’s now in fifth grade and part of the Arrow of Light Den, which is second-year Weblos, the highest rank of Cub Scouts. He will be crossing over to Boy Scouts at the end of this year, she said.

“I was just a scout mom, but soon became part of and then Chair for the Fundraising Committee.  I am also now the Den leader for this year’s second-graders, the Wolves,” Melanson said.

Joining the Cub Scouts is almost a rite of passage for boys in Windham.

“Our pack is a great group of scouts and parents.  We care about each other, push each other, and just all around have fun,” she said. “We want our scouts to learn what is means to be part of something important, what is means to help their community, make new friends, build relationships, and most importantly grow as a young man.” 

Over the summer, members of Cub Scout Pack 805 worked on completing their achievements so that the scouts could move up in rank. 

These included First Aid, safety, teamwork, nutrition, and other topics, Melanson said. 

“We did have a few Zoom meetings when possible just to stay in touch with our scouts,” she said. “And the scouts worked on completing a different outdoor activity each month in order to earn their National Summertime Pack Awards.”

For Pack 805’s registration night on Monday evening, the registration table will be staffed through 7:30 p.m. 

“We have asked that only one parent comes to complete paperwork, to make sure that we can social distance appropriately,” Melanson said. “If someone has a new potential scout who is interested, they may come with the parent. We are asking that masks be worn also. If someone is interested in joining but is unable to make the registration event, they can reach out to us through Facebook or email.

For more information about Cub Scout Pack 805, visit their “Pack 805 Windham Maine” Facebook page or send an email to  scoutpack805me@gmail.com <

Insight: A mother’s love

By Lorraine Glowczak

“It’s really important to me that you all remain close and continue to get together once I’m gone,” my mom told me during one of her lucid moments in the final days of her life. “Can you make sure it happens?” I told her that I would, but I wasn’t sure I could pull it off.

My mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on January 12, 2012, and at the age of 82, passed away twelve days later. I got to spend the last five of those days with her.

Her family was the most important aspect of her life and she held a fear that once she left this earth,

my four brothers and I would cease to gather. Our family dynamic isn’t necessarily dysfunctional, but like all human imperfections, we’ve had our share of ups and downs. Our mother could see how her five children’s varying approaches to and perspectives on life could easily force us to go our separate ways once the common glue that held us together was gone. It was her greatest fear.

Born in 1929, she was the product of the Great Depression and thus, left school during her freshman year to get a job. Admittedly, she didn’t enjoy school much, so making money was an attractive option for her, however, her ninth-grade education did not prevent her from knowing about the important aspects of life. Without academic research in family studies, my mom intuitively knew the important role family plays in the health of the individual and society as a whole. She knew that families provide security, love, support and a framework of values for all of us.

According to a University of Nebraska academic article entitled, “Creating a strong family: Why are families so important”, authors John Defrain, Gail Brand, Jeanette Friesen and Dianne Swanson state the following:

“Families are the basic, foundational social units in all human communities around the world – and healthy individuals within healthy families are at the core of a healthy society. It’s in everyone’s best interest, then, to help create a positive environment for all families.”

The article goes on to say that families are the places where we begin the vital processes of socializing our children – teaching them how to survive and thrive in the world.

It is for this reason, my mom felt family was so important. I suspect she had the same talk with my four brothers when they said their own private goodbyes, because we have gathered in some form or fashion at least once a year - with ease - since her death. My own fear surrounding my inability to gather us together has been for naught. In fact, as I write this editorial, three* of my brothers and their wives are vacationing in Maine – visiting me and my husband. For seven solid days. All under one roof. For the first time in 50 years.

Today marks day four – and so far, so good. We’ve explored together, ate together, and – my mother’s favorite – laughed together. At moments in the past couple of days, I have wondered that if it weren’t for our mother’s love, if we would be together today. I suppose we will never know. I’m grateful our mom cared so much for our future as a family as we grow old, creating more memories before it is our own turn to leave this earth. For me and because I do not have children of my own, her foresight provides a deeper set of roots that I wouldn’t have otherwise.

Tomorrow, we have plans for a whale watching tour. If you happen to hear of someone from the Noll-Glowczak family being thrown overboard deep in the great Atlantic – well – perhaps day six didn’t go so well. (Insert loud laughter from my brothers.)

*(Unfortunately, my oldest brother and his wife were keeping a promise to another family member and had to travel to California. But I promised that I would travel to Kansas this fall to see the both of them.)

Do your holiday traditions feel more like obligations? - By Elizabeth Richards

Thanksgiving is upon us, and it’s time to pull out all the old traditions. Or is it? Most people can identify traditions that have been sustained by their families for years around specific holidays. Many of these traditions are beloved, but sometimes, it’s time to take a look at what you do and make some changes. If a tradition has become stressful or you simply aren’t enjoying it any longer, don’t be afraid to say so!

 Thanksgiving is often all about the food. You probably have certain things that just must be on the table, or it simply doesn’t feel like Thanksgiving. Many of these are probably great – but are there some you could do without? 

For me, it was the “green stuff” that showed up on every holiday table. My mother had been making it for years, sending it to extended family gatherings, and every Thanksgiving, there it was. This whipped Jell-O salad with canned fruit was never something I enjoyed. But for years, it was there, and somehow kept ending up on my plate. When I finally had the courage to say “No, thank you,” something funny happened – no one cared! 

When I told my mom I just didn’t care for it, she asked my siblings how they felt. As it turned out, they felt the same way. We haven’t seen the green stuff since. It can be hard to speak up – fear of offending someone, fear of family revolt if you decide not to make your famous sweet potatoes. But just like in my house, the roof won’t cave in if you change the menu up a bit, and just maybe everyone will enjoy a change of pace. 

Maybe your traditions have nothing to do with food. One of the trickiest negotiations is where a holiday will be celebrated. Perhaps you have been going to grandma’s house your entire life, and can’t imagine saying you will be spending the day somewhere else. But when we grow up and start families of our own, suddenly it’s not so simple. It can become a mad dash from one dinner to the next, a crazy juggling act of trying to keep everyone happy. Perhaps it’s time to take a deep breath and ask yourself – tradition aside, where do I want to be?

Once you figure out where and with whom you will celebrate, what does the day look like? Does everyone sit around watching the parade or football? Do you gather around the table to play a board game after dinner? These can be the best traditions of all – the part of the day where you really spend quality time with the ones you love. But what if all that sitting around isn’t what you prefer? Speak up – suggest something new. 

With all the food we eat on Thanksgiving, physical activity is becoming a more important part of the day. Maybe it’s time to start a tradition around getting yourself – and your family – moving. One Westbrook family puts on a 5K on Thanksgiving morning to raise money for high school scholarships. This has grown from a small family event to a large community affair, and is one of my favorite new Thanksgiving traditions. And, it alleviates the guilt of that extra slice of pie! If running isn’t your thing, consider a walk in the woods, a friendly game of kickball or football, or a dance party. 

Whatever your traditions are, take the time to be sure they really work for you. Eliminating the stress of participating in something that just doesn’t work for you is a surefire way to truly enjoy your holidays!

Winterfest's first year low on winter, high on spirit - By Michelle Libby

Last Saturday, Windham Parks and Recreation and Windham PTA worked together to put on a Winterfest celebration that would mesh with the Sebago Lake Fishing Derby, however, when the derby was cancelled expected attendance dropped, but that didn’t stop the people who came from having fun. 

“It was a slow start and as the day went on more people came. It was a little lower attendance with the confusion around the canceling of the derby,” said parks and rec director Linda Brooks. “By the evening, we had a lot of visitors.”

The event was held at two venues, Donnabeth Lippman Park and the Windham Veterans Center, with shuttle service between the two. 

“A lot of people learned about Lippman Park,” said Brooks. “They didn’t know it was there.”

Skating at the park was a big hit. Youth played hockey and some families skated, said Brooks. Many of the activities were more akin to a springfest, but the bounce houses, hidden candy on the story walk and hula hooping with Flamin’ Raymond and Sizzlin’ Susan gave everyone a chance to practice their spring and summer fun skills. 

The indoor venue at the Windham Veterans Center gave people the opportunity to get out of the cold and warm up with free food and treats. The Windham PTA held a crockpot cookoff, and served hotdogs and popcorn. Guests sampled the food and voted for which dish was their favorite. The third place was a tie between Sarah Simagna’s meatballs and Julie Frost’s Taco Soup, second place went to Melissa Oldakowski’s sweet and sour meatballs and first place went to Ernesta Kennedy for her BBQ Beans. 

 

Pat’s Pizza donated a soup to the crockpot competition and 25 other businesses donated prizes for the winners and as door prizes. The Windham Veterans Association donated the building to the cause.

“It was great because we had such a response from our community,” said Wotton. 

In the past the PTA held a winter type event at Manchester School, but it had not happened for the last few years. When they heard about this event, the PTA couldn’t wait to partner with Windham Parks and Recreation. The PTA took over the organizing of the warming space in the Veterans center.

Wotton, president of the PTA in Windham, involved Cub Scout Pack 805, who set up a Pinewood Derby track and let the children build Lego cars to race. 

Leanna, 7, and Bryce, 4 1/2 , Rogers build race cars out of Legos to run down the Pinewood Derby track.

“It’s been a successful first year. We wanted to start simple so we would be successful,” said Wotton. “Next year it will hopefully be bigger.”

Thank you to the sponsors including Maine Optometry

Next year’s plans are already underway, with the possibility of a shortened day and expanded community involvement. “Lippman Park is a great opportunity for winter activities like cross country skiing, skating and snowshoeing,” said Brooks. She anticipates that the locations will stay the same. 

A Campfire.

“On the whole it was something to grow on. People were generally very pleased,” Brooks said.